Thursday: Today I did a six mile run at the shoreline.  The wind was fierce and I was very slow.  On the plus side I wasn’t noticeably tired and didn’t have that feeling of struggling just to lift my legs.  It seems to be a rule that no matter how short or long the run I can’t wait to be finished with it.  But there’s another side to the run too.  There’s that thought, ‘Oh wow I’m running.’ The feeling of being free, of being a beast; that feeling of being alive.  Alive and able to run.  Cool.

I am the worst kind of procrastinator.  I was writing about the week’s workouts and then life got in the way and I trailed off.  I went to Trung Friday and I ran my long run Saturday, but the details have vanished from my memory bank.

The week’s blend into each other because they are similar.  I will work with Trung three days per week and I will run three days.  This week I only had two runs because I’m resting for my 10 mile run next week, building back up to half marathon distance again.

The thing I keep trying to figure out is how this habit was ingrained in me because there are some other, better habits I would like to build into my life.  Going for donuts every Sunday is not a great habit to get into.  Stretching regularly would be nice.  If I could solve the mystery of the way Trung trained me to log my food and work out regularly I could rule the world.  Haha, not really, but I could help other people build those same positive habits.

I fear that ultimately the desire must come from within.  I saw myself losing my mobility and I feared the future.  Since I must die one way or the other I prefer to go out in a blaze of glory and not by fading ignominiously away, needing someone to take care of me because I can’t do it myself.  At least I don’t want to end up in that condition because I couldn’t stop eating and drinking to excess.  You can’t control getting sick.

Obesity being the issue that it is for Americans, I keep thinking that if I analyze my situation it will help find a solution to the problem.  I’m beginning to think that’s a pipe dream.  I see people who are using scooters or chairs to get around who, at least by appearance, are immobilized by their weight.  Why didn’t they get scared before it got to that point?  Why did I?

It seems I remember feeling trapped.  I thought that I would be fat because that’s who I was and there was nothing I could do about it.  Trung gave me an alternative.  How do you help people recognize that there is an alternative to the status quo?  People are still very much trapped in their own heads.  I know I am.